My Heart Will Always Beat
by rwbybomb21
Summary: 'The heart of a wayfarer, the mind of a scholar, the body of a model, and just one to hold her; this will be painful, this will destroy, but I hope that you all, regardless, enjoy.'She continues to fight her rule, her reason, and she can't keep it up...but there's a memory; it has kept her alive for this long, but how longer can she endure? Torture/Graphic scenes/reference to sex


**This will destroy some of you, make others hate me, but this is for the greater good of my other stories; this was partly an idea, and partly a way to get rid of stress and some heartbreak over the weekend.**

**Enjoy.**

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"_The heart wants what it wants, but cannot have what it needs. That is when it breaks, like the soul, mind, and spirit."_

_-Me- proverb from old saying-_

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Staring at the ceiling of stone, and the walls of steel and iron, she feels no more tears; she has failed, she surrendered for the good of everyone else, she tells herself constantly.

But no, in her more logical, cynical side of life and mind, she didn't just fail; she submitted. But she hasn't, as long as she draws breath, she will never submit for this brutal woman staring with malicious love in her eyes. Those flames of hatred and sick-twisted passion burning behind amber pools of lava and evil...Ruby hated looking at them for the first few weeks she was here; But now? Three years into the torture? She needs colour, if only to escape the bland, grey walls of her cell, the metallic-steel coloured chains of which her broken and long bloodied limbs hang from.

She's been strung up so long; she's forgotten how to walk. She only screams of pain and sorrow anymore, that she has forgotten how to form coherent sentences that aren't pleas for mercy.

"_Only when you give in to me, petal; the pain could go away."_ Those were Cinder Fall's last words to her.

That was two years ago.

Cinder only tortures her as an experiment now, to see how long she lasts before she gives in; she constantly rips at the already-torn mind of Ruby's, telling her that her friends are dead, her life is over, she will never see the sun again. All of this she had seen before, all of this she had been told and all of this had been another lie.

Now, now Cinder does this for fun, plain and simple. Ruby had noted that after another hard day of having work is too much for her, Cinder would be completely brutal; shatter bones, burn skin, render flesh with her bare nails. Others, when a day has gone smoothly, or at least relatively so, she would simply whip her, cut her shallowly, or sometimes- if Ruby asked for mercy- stop halfway through.

But Ruby hadn't asked for mercy for nearly two years, and she would never degrade herself to go so low as to submit, just to make the pain go away. Just to take away three years of suffering, and for what? Only to suffer at the hands of Cinder even more. No, she would deny this woman her unknown goal of why she wanted Ruby so badly, why she would waste as many years Ruby had spent in this cell, in an unknown location, and torture her, telling her ot join her; why would she ever think of joining such a monster?

So, with her split lip and long-blackened eyes, she defiantly lifts her head, looking with what could have been called a semi-harsh glare, had her face not been pulverised by a hammer just two days ago.

She was getting more vicious.

Cinder simply sighed, and walked over, eyeing Ruby with that look of hers, as if daring Ruby to say something to make this stop; it was as if Cinder was tired of this as much as Ruby was, but she knew that to be a lie- this woman was relentless, vicious, animalistic. She sees something she wants, she will have it.

She, to Ruby's surprise, didn't even raise a fist to her this time,, instead opting for crouching next to her, looking her in the long-deadened silver eyes. Cinder's eyes seemed tired, saddened, as if she never wanted to do this for three ears, never wanted to do this for a simple, what she would call, partnership.

No, Cinder only wanted to be master of this wilful, long-maimed wolf, but this wolf has proven that even with its ears ripped form its head and its fangs pulled out, it will still fight, resist.

And, when she walked out of the cell last night, leaving a whining, bleeding, battered young girl to hang from her cell- _'a bird in a cage'_ she once thought- she had an epiphany; why do this, all of this, to some teenage girl? One, that even if she did swear utter fealty to, would be simply too scarred and broken to be of any use?

So, she resigned to find out why this girl was so strong, as to resist her for three years; three years of agonising torture on both of their parts.

But no, the sadder side in her reasoned, the darker twisted, evil, caniving side; this had to be done.

And so, she entered the cage of this broken, fighting wolf, to look into her near-lifeless grey eyes, and offer her a choice.

"Petal..."

Ruby didn't even look at her anymore; she couldn't, her body was broken, she knew she'd never walk again- at least not without the help of special healers and cybernetics- but, as much as she wanted to swear her defiance, to glare her right in the eye, she couldn't even raise her neck.

She was brought back to how she got here in the first place; she failed.

Cinder was about to backhand the girl for her insolence, but she noticed Ruby's half-lidded eyes, her drooping neck, her hnched position.

Cinder's eyes widened; she had gone too far, it seemed, in her torturing. She had broken the girl's neck, she'd never be able to walk, talk, and act as she was before.

For some reason, this almost broke Cinder as much as it did Ruby, but Ruby's gaze was hardened on the floor, even with blackened eyes and drooping eyelids; a sheer sign of defiance.

"Petal...I'm sorry."

Ruby's dead silver eyes widened in shock, her eyes then widening in anger, and Cinder saw that, that look of sheer contempt. She understood; she had take away this girl's former life, her current life, and nay hope of ever having a future life, and because of what; an act that followed through; a moment that dragged on? Even Roman was disgusted with how she had been dealing with the girl. He would have sent ehr home with some bruises and a warning, at most, a broken wrist; Neo was mortified, constantly coming to check up on her 'friend'. Neo had seen Ruby as a friend anyway, someone to confide in, to tell secrets to.

Ruby saw that as more torture; why tell her things that would get her killed? Because she was never getting out of here, that's why. That was the only reason. Emerald brought the girl food and water, but Ruby had, as of late, had to be force-fed, refusing to be politely fed by the girl. Mercury had come by, told a couple of jokes, sang a song or two. A year ago, at least. He never visited anymore, but when he walked past her cell, he would send her pitiful looks, ones of remorse, guilt. Adam gave her regular updates of the one hting that kept her going through this, and a year or two ago, she would have voiced her gratitude to the enemy.

No longer can she even hope for that.

Then her silver-grey eyes narrowed in utter hatred, blackened lids, against the odds, widening themselves to practically beam hate at the floor; Cinder was never sorry. Every time she hit her, it was "This is fun" and every time she seared her flesh and melted bone, only to heal it back up painfully, it was "Such a voice, let's see if we can get rid of it?"

She was never sorry, never, and Ruby would keep holding on to the one memory she had that would keep her going through this, through this dark, almost black time in her usually sunny life.

Blake.

Her eyes- dried and battered- allowed the ghost of an impossible tear to slide out, down her cut and bruised cheek, slithering down her ragged cloak and torn blouse, dripping onto the floor silently, under the detection of Cinder.

They sat there for a while- well, Ruby hung there- and Cinder pondered something.

"Rose...what keeps you going?"

Ruby glared at the floor again, and with all her remaining strength, willpower, determination, she voiced the first thing she had said in years.

"I...Will never tell you."

Cinder was shocked for a moment, before glancing down at the defeated girl, and smiled, wickedly, widely.

"Oh, good, now you can talk; care to hear what I have to say?"

But Ruby could not answer her back anymore, the constant torture she had been through too much for her frail body. She finally allowed herself a moment of respite, whether the older girl liked it or not.

She needed to pass, she needed this pain to vanish, and she just...needed to close her eyes...if but for a moment...

She blinked, much slower than usual.

Blink.

Blink...

...blackness.

Then yellow, piercing, soothing yellow, soft, full of concern, love, warmth, heat, life. Life; something Ruby felt she no longer had, and yet, when her ragged, torn and shredded mind played her memories back to her, she felt more alive than she had ever felt.

The last thought on her now dead mind, was of that one reason to live, that one little spark of blackness that lit up her dark life, that one little light she used to contain.

There she was, smiling as she told Ruby she was her best friend, embarrassed with a red face when she confessed, even redder in the face when Ruby kissed her, the first time she told her 'I love you' the first time she made love to her, the first time they did a lot of things.

But each and every single memory held Blake, that one monotonous-coloured girl that held her heart, even if it beat no more, and kept her in her mind, even if it was no longer functioning; she was the very air she breathed, and even if Ruby breathed no more...

...she'd breathe no more with a smile.

For that was the effect that one loner, dreary, saddened girl known as Blake Belladonna could do to one lonely, depressed girl.

So when her lungs breathed her last, when her eyes saw the last, when her heart beat the last, she knew...

...she would always have Blake in her heart.

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**Hate me, love me, I don't care anymore...**


End file.
